With Dr. Olga Filippa Nel, Clinical Psychologist
The path to success is seldom free of failure. But what determines the outcome is not how many times you fall but how quickly you get back in the saddle.
When something does not go according to plan, when obstacles prove harder to overcome than you had anticipated, it is natural to feel down and even defeated. In order to bounce back as quickly as possible and to avoid falling prey to negative self-talk, you can start by being kind with yourself, reassure your inner child that it is not the end of the world, that falls and failure is just an opportunity to grow and learn, that it’s all part of the process.
Next, take a step forward, no matter how small it is. The most powerful tool at your disposal right now is self-discipline. If, for example, you had resolved to exercise for half an hour a day and you just couldn’t bring yourself to do any exercise on a given day, just do a few minutes of stretching before you go to bed. Your mindset will shift from defeat to determination and you will be able to start tomorrow with new resolve.
Finally review your goals. How will going forward make you feel? Why do you want what you are working towards? Call on the emotions that you associate with achieving your goal, how will you feel when you are finally there? Emotions are powerful motivators. It is not what we want that keeps us going but how we will feel when we have it.
Chris Hardwick said, “no human ever became interesting by not failing. The more you fail and recover and improve, the better you are as a person”. Remember that experiencing hiccups along the road to success does not make you a failure, it merely makes you human!
Live mindfully and blossom!